Democratic politicians like Elizabeth Warren and Bill Clinton are sad to hear the news. Those on the Upper West Side of New York, as well as those around the Berkeley area, are crushed. And 20somethings with 18th century French poetry degrees now live meaningless existences, more so.
Yep, Jon Stewart is leaving The Daily Show on Comedy Central to become the new spokesman for Jello-brand pudding or something. In any case, we thought if Comedy Central wanted to go outside the box in hiring a new host, we have a list of sports personalities who could fit the bill.
Here’s our picks for the new host of The Daily Show from the sports world:
Rob Gronkowski
He’s not going to take The Daily Show gig unless Tom Brady is his sidekick and Bill Belichick is the director. However, Gronk is a party (with two R’s as Jared Allen would say) waiting to happen. If he did take the job, there’s no doubt he would roll over Colbert, Maher, and Fallon just like Gronk playing against the Atlanta Falcon’s defense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q48vgXJ-li0
Shaquille O’Neal
We remember dreaming our Minnesota Timberwolves would get the No. 1 overall pick in the 1992 NBA draft. The Wolves would draft Shaq and then couple him with Chris Jackson (aka Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf) and go onto to win like six NBA titles. Well, Shaq went to Orlando (rigged) and then onto the Lakers (rigged?), and finally retired to join Turner Sports as a broadcaster.
It’s time to rewrite history:
With the first pick of the 2015 Talk Show Host Draft, The Daily Show selects Shaquille O’Neal. With the second pick, the Timberwolves select Jahlil Okafor.
Jared Allen
We love Jared because he has a sense of humor about himself. Anyone that would wear the sexiest mullet since Joe Dirt is cool in our book. Since Jared didn’t have that good of a year with the Chicago Bears in 2014, perhaps it’s just a matter of time now for the him—the player we affectionately call Hillbilly Deluxe—to take the reins of his own show. And with Stewart leaving at the end of this year, Allen still has enough time to play for the Bears in 2015 (you know they won’t make the playoffs, right?) and start his new gig on Comedy Central in January. Plus anyone that has the cachet to appear in Johnny Knoxville’s Jack#$% gags has to be a fun guy.
Charles Barkley
Actually, we think Sir Charles is the pick. He leans The Daily Show point of view, yet refreshingly Charles isn’t a hypocrite. Would that play on Comedy Central? We think so, mostly because of the fact that Charles is a great amount of fun. Willing to tackle, err dunk the big issues all while making sure everyone is having the time of their life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_fE14IwGUw
Do you have someone better that Gronk, Shaq, Hillbilly Deluxe, or Sir Charles?