In the land of police blurbs, this might very well come close to taking the cake. The Denver Broncos released safety John Boyett on Thursday after he was arrested for assaulting a a cab driver.

The former practice squad player apparently head-butted and punched a taxi driver in a bit of drunken rage early Wednesday morning. He then stole a shovel from a construction site and tried to hide himself from the police in mulch.

This is not a fake story. And according to the police in Greenwood Village, this actually happened (via Denver Post).

John Boyett, a now-ex-member of the Broncos’ practice squad, was arrested early Wednesday in Greenwood Village after police say he drunkenly head-butted and punched a cab driver, stole a shovel from a construction site then tried to hide from officers by covering himself in mulch, court records show.

Once apprehended by the authorities, Boyett told them to call his boss (John Elway).

Boyett, 24, told arresting officers to “contact his boss ‘John Elway'” before repeatedly slamming his head into a patrol car window while yelling and spitting, records say.

This seems to be yet another bad episode of Cops, which I know full well is a guilty pleasure for many of us.

Let’s get the facts straight.

Head-butt and punch a taxi driver. Steal a shovel and attempt to hide yourself “underground.” Tell the authorities to call the Broncos vice president. Hit your head into the patrol call. And of course, spit up while making a jerk of yourself.

Parents out there…this might be a nice story to tell your children when informing them of what might happen when they get a bit too sauced.

Photo: The Denver Channel