Absolutely nothing happened. Just kidding. A LOT happened this weekend. As per usual, I’m here to give you the short and sweet (just like me) version of the current events of NBA, NFL, and MLB.
Donald Sterling. I don’t need a clever, witty title for that guy, because quite frankly, he doesn’t deserve one. You’ve heard all about it, so I doubt I need to catch you up. How LA Clippers reacted was relatively mature. I would have thrown things. Light things, because I barely even lift, bro.
And Michael Jordan had a problem with it…
And Snoop Dogg
And the twitter dot com
LeBron James stared down the leading actor in Space Jam. We are so sick of hearing the comparisons to these two, however LeBron supposedly stared down Michael Jordan  or supposedly that’s what the announcer thought.
Also, is it just me or does Michael never age?
Speaking of never aging, Vince Carter, ladies and gentleman. 2001 was a rough year for the NBA vet when he missed an important shot during Game 7 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. And don’t worry, Carter brought that up in his post-game interview this weekend. According to ESPN…
Carter swished a 3-pointer from the left corner as time expired, lifting the Dallas Mavericks to a victory at American Airlines Center on Saturday afternoon every bit as improbable as their 2-1 series lead over the San Antonio Spursin this best-of-seven Western Conference quarterfinal. Dallas 109, San Antonio 108.
Hell yeah Vince. Hell. Yeah.
Ryan Braun hit Jean Segura in the face. But don’t worry it was on accident during a practice swing, then Braun turned around and got injured. Can’t wait to hear what the people of social media have to say about this one.
Apparently Mike Trout is kissing babies? Which means there were a lot of women tweeting about it and putting heart-eyed emojis on twitter. Calm down cleat chasers, he’s taken.
Calvin Johnson will continue to combine NFL and NBA. He will continue to do his dunk during celebrations in the end zone, he just “won’t touch the rim.”
Jim Harbaugh has Colin Kaepernick’s back. With all the rumors swarming the San Francisco QB, Harbaugh made sure to put the media on blast in defense of Kap.
Oh. And the Houston Rockets and Portland Blazers just got done playing the third overtime game of a series that has the Blazers now up 3-1. It’s also quite possible that LaMarcus Aldridge called Dwight Howard something bad.Â
Photo:Â Derick E. Hingle/USA TODAY Sports