The NFL Playoffs got going over the past three days, starting with rookie quarterback C.J. Stroud leading his Houston Texans to a blowout win over the Cleveland Browns Saturday afternoon.
The first round of the 2024 NFL Playoffs concluded Monday night with the Philadelphia Eagles absolutely humiliating themselves in a 32-9 loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
In between, the Dallas Cowboys’ playoff futility continued while the Detroit Lions earned their first playoff win on over three decades. Here, we provide a grade for all 12 teams that took to the field in the first round of the NFL Playoffs.
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Cleveland Browns: F
Kevin Stefanski did a hell of a job getting his team to 11-6 and earning a spot in the playoffs with his entire backfield sidelined to injury. Getting Joe Flacco to perform at a high level after literally signing him off the sofa adds another layer to that.
In no way is this an excuse for the terrible performance we saw from Cleveland Saturday afternoon in Houston. Flacco threw consecutive pick-sixes. Cleveland’s top-ranked defense gave up 356 total yards and was burnt big time by Nico Collins throughout the game. The end result was a 45-14 road loss to Houston. Not good for a team with just one win in the NFL Playoffs since the previous iteration of the organization moved to Baltimore.
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Houston Texans: A
C.J. Stroud. DeMeco Ryans. What is left to say about this electric young duo? The rookie quarterback completed 16-of-21 passes for 274 yards with three touchdowns and zero interceptions in his debut in the NFL Playoffs. Devin Singletary averaged north of five yards per rush on the ground. The breakout Nico Collins caught six passes for 96 yards, including a game-changing touchdown.
Defensively, veteran corner Steven Nelson and stud linebacker Christian Harris both recorded pick-sixes of Joe Flacco. Will Anderson was dominant on the defensive front. This resulted in a blowout 31-point win over what was a favored Browns team. Yeah, these Texans are pretty freaking good.
Kansas City Chiefs: A-
It was back to last season’s script for the defending champion Chiefs in the bitter cold of Kansas City Saturday night. That is to say, the offense getting it going big time against what was an injury-plagued and overmatched Miami Dolphins team in Arrowhead.
Patrick Mahomes completed 23-of-41 passes for 262 yards with a touchdown. For the reigning Super Bowl and NFL MVP, his magic was on full display.
Stud rookie Rashee Rice caught 8-of-12 passes for 130 yards and a touchdown. Taylor Swift’s better half hauled in seven passes of his own. Defensively, the Chiefs held Miami to less than 300 yards in what ended up being a 26-7 win. This team looked very much the part of defending champions to open the NFL Playoffs.
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Miami Dolphins: F
Remember when the Dolphins scored 70 points against Denver back in Week 3? That seems to be eons ago. We’re not kidding. Did it happen before the invention of the cell phone? While rhetorical, that question isn’t without substance after what we saw from Mike McDaniels squad in the AFC Wild Card Playoffs.
Miami put up less than 300 total yards in a 19-point loss to Kansas City. If it weren’t for a great play from Tyreek Hill on a poorly thrown pass from Tua Tagovailoa, the team would have been shutout. It was a complete clown show for a Dolphins team that entered the season with Super Bowl aspirations. It will also lead to further questions about Tua’s future as a legitimate franchise quarterback in South Beach.
Green Bay Packer: A
It’s hard to know how we got here with Jordan Love. But we are here. The fourth-year quarterback from Utah State completely outplayed Dak Prescott in his first start in the NFL Playoffs on Sunday, completing 16-of-21 passes for 272 yards with three touchdowns and zero interceptions in Green Bay’s shocking 48-32 road win over Dallas.
But it’s not simply about Love’s performance. Green Bay’s entire team came to play big time as huge road underdogs in the NFC Wild Card Playoffs. Aaron Jones continues his recent stellar play with 118 yards on 21 attempts. Cornerback Jaire Alexander and safety Darnell Savage both had big interceptions of Dak Prescott. In the end, it was an eye-opening performance from this up-and-coming team. There is no other way to go about that.
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Dallas Cowboys: F-
Pathetic. Humiliating. An absolute joke. Whatever expletive we want to use to describe Dallas’ disasterclass in yet another NFL Playoff failure, it would not be enough. The ‘Boys fell down 27-0 in the first half and found themselves trailing 48-16 in the fourth quarter before garbage-time Dak Prescott showed up.
From Prescott’s two interceptions and pick-six to the Cowboys’ defense absolutely pooping itself, this was among the most-pathetic performances in Cowboys franchise history. Jerry Jones tells us this story. Dak Prescott tells us this story. And in reality, it should be the end of the line for Mike McCarthy in Dallas. America’s team is no longer. It’s that simple.
Los Angeles Rams: B+
Matthew Stafford and the Los Angeles Rams entered this season with very little expectations. The Rams had moved off several veteran contributors and were seemingly headed into a transition season under head coach Sean McVay. That narrative proved to be far from the case with Los Angeles winning 10 regular-season games and finishing strong heading into the NFL Playoffs.
Sure, moral victories are not the name of the game in the NFL. But the Rams’ narrow 24-23 loss to the Lions Sunday night is nothing to sneeze at. Stafford continued to play stellar football (25-of-36 passing, 367 yards) and record-breaking rookie receiver Puka Nacua (nine receptions, 181 yards) did his thing. A late-game mistake by McVay might have cost this team the game. But the Rams’ 2023 season was nothing short of extraordinary given initial expectations.
Related: What the Los Angeles Rams can learn from their loss in the NFL Playoffs
Detroit Lions: B+
What a moment it was in Detroit Sunday night as the Lions won the first playoff game in over three decades. Jared Goff being treated like a rockstar as he went up against the team that discarded him faster than day-old underwear sitting in 100 degree weather.
As awesome as the pre-game scene was inside Ford Field was, the matchup itself did not disappoint. Goff was amazing, completing 22-of-27 passes for 277 yards. Star wide receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown went for 110 yards on seven receptions. Aidan Hutchinson recorded two sacks on defense. It resulted in a 24-23 win and Detroit hosting the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next week in the NFC Divisional Playoffs. Just amazing stuff.
Buffalo Bills: B
It wasn’t always the prettiest after opening up a 21-0 against the Steelers Monday afternoon. But the Bills did exactly what they needed to do at home after this game was postponed due to weather. Josh Allen was brilliant, compiling four touchdowns. That included an epic touchdown run.
Once Pittsburgh made this game pretty close in the second half, the Bills turned to James Cook to bleed the clock. He recorded 79 yards on 18 attempts. It was a well-oiled performance from Buffalo and will lead to this team hosting the defending Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC Divisional Playoffs next week.
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Pittsburgh Steelers: C+
To be perfectly honest, Pittsburgh probably wasn’t a team talented enough to make the NFL Playoffs. That’s what makes the job Mike Tomlin did as head coach so awesome. He took a talent-stricken team without a quarterback to a 10-7 record.
But as noted above, moral victories are not a thing in today’s NFL. The Steelers’ defense — sans T.J. Watt — just didn’t show up early in this one with the Bills scoring touchdowns on three of its first five possessions. Sure, the Steelers made this close in the second half, but it was a complete tier below Buffalo in the NFL Playoffs. It’s that simple.
Philadelphia Eagles: F-
What. Is. Happening. It was less than two months ago that the Eagles found themselves at 10-1 and as the odds-on favorite to win the Super Bowl. The defending NFC champions might have won some close games. But the blue print was there for continued success.
About that? Philadelphia lost four of five to conclude the regular season. It then put up an absolutely humiliating performance in a 32-9 loss to the Buccaneers. How bad was it? Let’s give you a visual.
Does that tell the story? No tackling. Struggles sustaining drives on offense. Making Baker Mayfield look like a combination of Joe Montana and Tom Brady. The level of pathetic Monday night was real, and it really should cost head coach Nick Sirianni his job.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A+
Being three-point home underdogs in the playoffs is a clear sign of disrespect. This being the case after you won five of six to conclude the regular season and your opponent lost four of five magnifies that further. Apparently, the Bucs had a monkey they really wanted to get off their back.
Baker Mayfield was absolutely electric, completing 22-of-36 passes for 337 yards with three touchdowns and zero interceptions. The Bucs’ defense got to Jalen Hurts for six QB hits and four sacks in a great all-around performance. The end result was a blowout home win and a road date with the Detroit Lions in the NFC Divisional Playoffs.