Detroit Lions defensive end Romeo Okwara sacks Indianapolis Colts quarterback Philip Rivers during the first half at Ford Field, Sunday, Nov. 1, 2020. Lions (© Kirthmon F. Dozier via Imagn Content Services, LLC)
Indianapolis Colts quarterback Philip Rivers will turn 39 years old on Dec. 8. In his 17th NFL season, Rivers has registered a grand total of 607 rushing yards. He’s obviously among the most immobile quarterbacks in the modern history of the league.
That came out in droves during Sunday’s game against the Baltimore Ravens. After seeing rookie running back Jonathan Taylor lose a fumble deep inside Baltimore’s end of the field, Rivers attempted a tackle as the Colts’ last line of defense.
It did not go swimmingly.
Rivers tripped over himself and looked like a beached whale in attempting to make the tackle. Legitimately, this might be the worst tackle attempt in NFL history. That’s not hyperbole.
Quarterbacks attempting to make a tackle never go well. Given Rivers’ advanced age and the fact that he’d lose a 40-yard dash to a turtle, and that’s magnified even further.
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As someone who shares a birthday with Mr. Rivers, this one scribe is now thinking it’s time to admit that our prime years are behind us.
At the very least, Rivers has nine children to help keep him young. Next up, LEGOs coming up to bite Rivers in the back end. We know it’s going to happen.
For now, just wait until a video of this play goes viral accompanied by Benny Hill music.