The Karens of the world lack a few things. Self awareness and shame come to mind, and both were on full display Friday as an angry Philadelphia Phillies Karen didn’t catch the home run ball but claimed the non-existent vicinity exemption to storm down the row to demand her prize from a doting father.
Yeah, it’s easy to hate people like that. She couldn’t get out of her seat but she sure sprinted after Dad for what was, only in her mind, rightfully hers.
First, a little baseball etiquette: A ball is fair game for everyone. If you don’t catch it clean, it’s first come, first served. Thems the rules.
The unwritten rules also state that kids take precedent. Don’t be the adult who bogarts the Rawlings because you never got one. Even if you catch it, hand it to the young’in.
And our new least favorite Phillies fan broke both cardinal rules.
Friday night, perhaps after our lovely Karen demanded to see the manager at the local Applebees because her service took longer than 30 seconds, or the clerk at Target wouldn’t accept her expired coupons for a giant bottle of Chill Out, our demanding 50-something interrupted a great family moment to remind them that the Earth can’t be flat because it revolves around her.
Yep, the ball landed in an empty row in front her, she was too slow, Dad snagged the ball and handed it to his son, or a young man in his care. But that’s also when Karen moved much faster than she did to actually earn the ball, and reminded him that the ball landed closer to her and that it, like anything else she wants, is indeed hers because, well, it’s hers, and that’s that.
Realizing that an aggrieved Karen is a relentless Karen, Ol’ Dad simply gave up. Fortunately, the home team–the Florida Marlins–watched the selfish theft in real time and rewarded the young fan with plenty of goodies.
It’s a hard life, kid. When Karens want something, you have two choices, stand there and take the abuse until they wear out, or just shut them up by giving up. They learned long ago that they can have what they want with a relentless stream of anger and twisted logic.
We also wish Dad had just sat down and let Karen rant but we get it.
“You took it from me!” she yelled several times.
However, there was no truth to the rumors that she also demanded a free hot dog because the bun was soggy, free nachos because the cheese wasn’t evenly distributed, and a free box of Cracker Jacks because she didn’t like the prize.
And here’s the upclose confrontation … it’s even worse.
