Mets pitcher Jacob deGrom

Will the New York Mets trade ace starter Jacob deGrom? For deGrom’s sake, we sure hope so.

It’s reportedly on the menu, and one team official offered an interesting and hilarious take on the matter.

Apparently, as far as the Mets are concerned, it all comes down to donuts.

Naturally, this drew less than enthused responses from Mets’ fans.

But really the Mets competence isn’t the question. The question here is, are all donuts the same?

That’s a steep price, even for a Cy Young contender. Also, how do other pastries fit into this?

It’s possible that the Mets might have stumbled their way into a new way to evaluate players. We’ve seen WAR cited for a while now, but what’s someone’s Donut Above Replacement value?

Obviously, there are some kinks to work out. Perhaps this is something we can see in the “Moneyball” sequel.