We checked the time stamp on this press release. We made sure that it was not published on April 1st. It wasn’t. And it’s grand. Absolutely grand.
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (NHDSC) has teamed up with Beef Checkoff to send 100 logs of beef bologna to the Jacksonville Jaguars and head coach Doug Marrone.
“Bologna is packed with protein and nutrients including Vitamin B12, which is essential for brain development and maintaining a healthy nervous system and red blood cells,” NHDSC President Eric Mittenthal said in the press release. “With this bologna infusion, the Super Bowl may finally be in reach for the Jags.”
Bologna infusion? Bologna cake? What in the world is happening here? We know 2017 has been all sorts of crazy, but this takes everything to that whole new level.
We dare you to read this quote from Marrone without giggling uncontrollably or having a laughing attack. Be warned, it was hard for us.
“I just love it. I love it. I bet you I can be the bologna-eating champion of the world. I bet you I’ve eaten more bologna than anyone in this world,” the head coach said, via ESPN.
Apparently, beef is Marrone’s secret weapon. Now, with 100 logs of it, he can serve it up for his team to enjoy as the Jaguars look to earn the AFC South title in the final quarter of the season.