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Transgender Sports Writer Opens Up

I received an encouraging message the other day, a small envelope popped up on my screen, a small, little envelope that changed my view on life. A message that gave me the reassurance that what I am doing is right:

You’re one of the reasons I’ve felt like I can make it in this industry, even though I ‘m not genetically a female. I’m so lucky to have women like you to try to emulate and I’m glad you’re one of them.

Jamie Neal is a NFL columnist for BaySportsNet.com, and has written amazing blogs for Niners Nation and has her own personal blog (she had to tell me she doesn’t upkeep it too well, but really who does?).

She is also transgender.

In the most recent story she wrote for SB Nation Outsports; she talks about the trials and tribulations she has dealt with when it came to coming out as a transgender female.

When Neal was younger, she would observe how the kids who were deemed “unpopular” were treated. Neal wrote in the article that she didn’t want to be a part of it, not on the receiving end, or the giving end.

I kept my head down, got to know sports and got pretty good at playing them, keeping everyone at a distance from my personal life. I just wanted to make it through unscathed and get out of that neighborhood and make a new life for myself somewhere else.

Eventually, Jamie did just that. She moved to Las Vegas from the Bay Area in 2004 where she felt she was able to be herself. She became more open about dressing like a woman. Something I take for granted, and something I struggle with. Sorry mom, still working on how to be a lady.

This was when I realized Neal spent a lot of her life living in dread. Even when she was living in Sin City, she would talk about the fears she started dealing with. Taking that first step towards her transformation may seem like it would make the journey easier, but it seemed to fill her head with more fears:

I could never quite push myself to be who I was on the inside because I was too scared. Too scared of what friends would say behind my back. Too scared of not being able to make ends meet because I might not be able to find a job. Too scared of what some random, insignificant stranger might say.

Once she moved back to the Bay Area, the cycle started all over again. Jamie (or Jason as I was more familiar with) was struggling with her career in sports journalism that she had spent three years building.

What will the athletes think? What are all of the people I have met through Twitter going to think? I don’t want to disappoint anyone! I just want to build a career doing something I love while not despising myself in the process.

The beautiful part of these particular questions Jamie had were that they had answers. I got to speak to Jamie and I asked her about a certain Oakland A’s girlfriend we have all fallen in love with over social media who had reached out to Jamie.

Eireann Dolan is dating lefty reliever Sean Doolittle, and recently Dolan caught wind of Jamie’s story. Jamie was thrilled to speak to Dolan and was surprised to hear nothing but positive things from Eireann.

Eireann reaching out was a dream. I knew what she was trying to accomplish with the LGBT night, but to have her reach out to me and shower me with words of encouragement…that was unreal. Apparently she wants to take me to a game and Sean wants to meet me? I was kinda floored by it.

Dolan recently caught the attention of Oakland A’s fans after the A’s promoted LGBT Pride Night. She told the fans she would buy the tickets from them if they didn’t plan on attending at face value. “No judgments, no questions asked.” The game takes place on Wednesday, June 17 when the A’s host the San Diego Padres.

This will be Neal’s first baseball game (or any sporting event) since writing her article. She told me she is beyond excited to be back at O.co Coliseum after struggling for a while with her fears of going to sporting events.

I’m looking forward to a game that is geared toward the LGBT community. I think that will ease some of my apprehension and will make me feel a lot more comfortable. I’ll already feel like I’m at home being that it’s at O.co.

And while we don’t look at going to a baseball game as a big deal, or think twice about it, Neal told me there is a bigger message than just showing up to this game.

It’s more than just a sporting event for me – it’s life, says Neal. As a man I never had to worry about whether someone may want to become violent with me because of how I was dressed. Choosing to make this transition really negatively impacts people for some reason. Apparently what I do in my personal life and how I dress has a direct impact on people’s lives. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but I don’t really care what other people do in their personal lives. I’m way too busy with my own life to be concerned with strangers lives.

Sporting events can be absolutely phenomenal and so much fun, but there is also a lot of drinking that goes on. Emotions run high at sporting events. People don’t always act in an appropriate fashion at sporting events.

Not only is Jamie overcoming her fear of going to a sporting event, but little by little she is taking steps on being more open, and hopes other people will accept her and become more educated on her experiences.

With this being the beginning of a new chapter, I’m just eager to learn how I respond to what’s going to be thrown my way. We all have struggles. My struggles are not harder just because they are mine – hard is hard.

I finally asked Jamie if she had any advice to give to someone who is struggling to find out who they are.

There is no right answer, just know what if and when the time is right, you will absolutely know and it won’t be a question of it, but a question of when. And when you go through that struggle, I hope everyone you know and love supports you the way my friends, family member, and strangers have supported me.

I hope we can all learn something from Jamie’s situation. Not only to be accepting of people, but realize how difficult it can be to be hiding behind someone or something that you are not. Imagine if you were forced to be someone you knew you weren’t meant to be. Most of us, including me, could not handle it.

Jamie Neal is not only a gifted and talented woman who will shortly be making her name known in the sports world, but I’m lucky enough to call her my friend.

You can follow Jamie on Twitter at @TheJamieNeal.

 

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