NFL Unfiltered

Tom Brady is nude sunbathing in Italy during suspension

Vincent Frank
Written by Vincent Frank

The New England Patriots might have to run Julian Edelman out there to play quarterback next week.

But don’t expect suspended quarterback Tom Brady to be losing any sleep over this. He’s too busy nude sunbathing. In Italy.

Yes, you read that right. Tom Terrific is getting his jollies off presenting nature with one of its finest creations, something akin to MichaelAngelo’s “David.”

Tom should take to Facebook, like he loves to do, and tell Roger Goodell to “deflate this.”

In Italy. On suspension. Nude sunbathing with model wife Gisele Bündchen.

We might ask why. Tom asks us, why not?

It’s kinda like that time your high school suspended you a couple days before spring break. Really cool of you to give me this opportunity to be awesome.

The only question we have here is what type of music Tom and Gisele might have been listening to while getting their full-body tan thing on.

We have a recommendation.

So here we are. The Patriots find themselves at 3-0 on the season. They’re coming off a shutout win over the Houston Texans with a rookie mid-round pick under center. They’re the best team in football, and it might not be close.

And the most successful quarterback since Joe Montana is taking his suspension in stride, swinging over to Italy (almost literally) with his billionaire wife to get in some nude sunbathing.

One really has to wonder why Brady appealed the suspension in the first place. Heck, maybe he can find a way to miss the first four games next season too. Why not? It will give him time to hang with that beautiful wife while deflating Goodell’s ego once more.

About the author

Vincent Frank

Vincent Frank

Editor-at-large, Sportsnaut.

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” Rumi