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5 MLB Offseason Moves That Would Have Made Great April Fool’s Jokes

Kris Bryant

April is here. You know what that means. A lot of dumb jokes attempting to fool those who obviously don’t know what the date is.

However, here are some real stories in Major League Baseball that could easily pass as April Fool’s jokes.

You are not being Punk’d, these actually happened.

Alex Rodriguez Apologizing in Writing

The New York Yankees had to say goodbye to a legend in Derek Jeter, and hello to another “legend” Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod served his season-long suspension for an involvement in the Biogenesis scandal. When he came back, he issued an apology in a hand-written letter.

He addressed the letter “To the Fans.” A-Rod says in the letter he not only takes responsibility for the situation, but he regrets the actions to make the situation worse.

I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why and that’s on me. It was gracious of the Yankees to offer me the use of Yankee Stadium for this apology, but I decided that next time I am in Yankee Stadium, I should be in pinstripes doing my job.

Naturally, MLB fans were weary when it came to accepting Rodriguez back into America’s Favorite Pastime. Still, what else was he to do? He had no choice but to come back. And so far, Rodriguez has been staying on his best behavior playing baseball.

The three-time American League MVP award winner has two decades under his belt and we are all on the edge of our seats to see how the Yankees crowd reacts when he steps on to the field for the first time in a year.

Pablo Sandoval…on the Red Sox?

Courtesy of USA Today Sports

Courtesy of USA Today: Pablo on the Red Sox?

Trades and moves are typical when it comes to every sport. Sometimes they are heartbreaking, and other times they are just downright strange.

Former World Series MVP Pablo Sandoval just finished another World Series victory with the San Francisco Giants. Before the 28-year-old could give his ring size, he was in a Boston Red Sox uniform.

The talk wore off, but Panda’s weight didn’t. Sandoval was subject to the typical “he gained so much weight” comments. This with the understanding that Pablo will always be Pablo when it comes to his weight.

Let’s talk numbers shall we?

In seven years with the Giants, Sandoval tallied a .294 batting average with 106 home runs and 462 RBI’s.

When he plays in the World Series (and if you play for the San Francisco Giants, you’ve played in many) he is phenomenal. He has a .426 batting average with three bombs, 20 hits, and eight RBI’s. So needless to say, if the Red Sox make it to the World Series, Sandoval will be unstoppable.

Pandoval is hitting .205 with eight hits in 14 Spring Training games with the Red Sox.

Josh Donaldson Traded to the Blue Jays 

Despite what you have been told by Tom Hanks, there is crying in baseball. I may or may not know first hand that the Josh Donaldson trade caused this reaction.

This All-Star third baseman was traded to the Blue Jays for Brett Lawrie, Kendall Graveman, Sean Nolin, and minor leaguer Franklin Barreto in November. At the time, A’s fans thought it was some cruel Thanksgiving joke.

Not to be.

The good news was that Donaldson was worth Lawrie and a few others, so that probably caused an ego boost. The bad news was this trade caused not only social media uproar, but rumors as to why it took place.

Just a few days before the trade, Donaldson took to Twitter to mention the Oakland A’s had more money than they claimed to have. The next thing you know, Donaldson was gone. Whether this is 100 percent true, we don’t know. The point is Josh Donaldson put the Oakland A’s on the map. He was also the most valuable third baseman since 2013, according to FanGraphs.

In short, it was a complete shock that the A’s sent a player that had become the face of their franchise for a bunch of unknowns. They did this coming off a third straight postseason appearance.

Kris Bryant sent to the Minors

Before you start throwing things, there is a reason for this.

Kris Bryant is only being sent down to the Minors because the Cubbies want to “manipulate his service time to keep him for an extra season,” according to SB Nation.

Still, Scott Boras and the MLB Players Association had something to say about it.

The Players Association issued a statement threatening litigation:

Today is a bad day for baseball. I think we all know that even if Kris Bryant were a combination of the greatest players to play our game, and perhaps he will be before it’s all said and done, the Cubs still would have made the decision they made today. This decision, and other similar decisions made by clubs will be addressed in litigation, bargaining or both.

This simply means more rules will be implemented, and all talks of Pete Rose being put into the Baseball Hall of Fame will be put on the back burner.

Bryant has been absolutely phenomenal at Spring Training. He is hitting .425 with nine bombs, 15 RBI’s in 14 games.

James Shields Assuming we Would Care Where he Went

Courtesy of USA Today

Courtesy of USA Today: Shields must think he’s more important than he is.

I’m not sure what LeBron James did to start the trend of “waiting to make an announcement.” But it’s LeBron, so naturally we will wait.

When you are James Shields, we don’t care.

Shields recently left the Kansas City Royals to play for the San Diego Padres. If only it were that easy.

Many teams were rumored to be interested in Big Game James, including the team he faced in the 2014 World Series, the San Francisco Giants. They offered Shields a four-year, $80 million deal, but Shields wasn’t prepared to accept it. He decided to sign a $75 million deal with the Padres.

With the Kansas City Royals, Shields accumulated a 3.18 ERA in 455.2 innings pitched. He was also named the Padres’ Opening Day starter against the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Photo: USA Today Sports

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