An American tradition as synonymous with football as the Super Bowl itself, is sports gambling. The Las Vegas odds-makers pine over Super Bowl weekend like a drunk before Mardi Gras, as it is not only the NFL’s largest yearly ‘expose but theirs as well. An opportunity to showcase the best the betting world has to offer has led to the creation of the prop bets. An annual occurrence as sure to bring in viewers as much as a halftime show or any funny commercial could hope to accrue.
What makes this yearly trend a staple of the Super Bowl pomp and circumstance is the variety of bets to choose from. This year there are three available bets on the game’s Nielsen rating: the yearly color of the Gatorade-bath prop, and three questions on the halftime show performer Katy Perry; one of which regarding which song she will sing first, for the record I’m a Roar guy myself. These fun versions of the prop bets barely tip the iceberg on the cacophony of wasted money that surrounds this annual trend emulating from Sin City.
Questions ranging from President Barack Obama’s Super Bowl pick to the effect of the game on the DOW Jones the following day, overshadow smaller events such as: single-player catch or yardage totals, touchdowns scored and the timing of them, which coach will be shown first after halftime, Al Michaels quotes, single-player history, and so much more. One can bet on almost literally everything surrounding this game, adding to the bombastic revelry that is the Super Bowl.
In the desert of unequalled arbitrary betting, there are five bets that rise above the others as the best chance to make you laugh while banking some house-money.
1. Will Bill Belichick Smile During the Game? Yes +150 No -200
Photo Courtesy: USA Today
The Patriots’ skipper makes the classic MGM character Droopy the Dog look like Cindy Lauper singing Girls Just Want to Have Fun. What could possibly make this Grinch smile during a game? Short of an incredible blowout of the Seahawks, expect Belichick’s stone gargoyle-like grimace to remain intact until the game’s final whistle.
2. What Will Be Higher? Russell Wilson 2015 Super Bowl Passing Yards (-13.5) or Russell Wilson 2014 Super Bowl Passing Yards(206) (+13)
Taking a trip down memory lane to Seattle’s embarrassment of the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XLVIII, this prop bet gives one the best chance in the historical department to make some money. Wilson’s 206 passing yards in last year’s championship game was in large part due to the fact that his team was up by so much from early on. Do not expect a Belichick-coached team to lose in the same fashion as the Broncos did one year ago. Expect Wilson to escape from his pedestrian total of 206 passing yards this year.
3. Cross-Sport: What Will Be Higher in Games Played February 2nd? Marshawn Lynch Receiving Yards or Dwayne Wade Points?
Whomever said the NFL is not all-inclusive? Vegas—not wanting to leave other sports such as the NBA, NHL or even UFC out of the fun—included multiple cross-sport props, extending the Super Bowl revelry across the sporting spectrum. If picking Tiger Woods’ opening-round Masters’ score alongside Julian Edelman’s receiving yardage is more your speed bully, good for you! Personally I would rather dump my money off of the top of the Space Needle in Seattle, as it would probably go to better use. Considering Lynch had 399 receiving yards all year, and Wade’s 21.4 point per game average in 2015, Lynch is the better bet here for the adventurous types due to the Seahawks’ offense dependence on the beast himself.
4. Will Marshawn Lynch Grab his Crotch After Scoring a TD? Yes (4/1) No (1/6)
While typically spending money on a crotch grab would be unbecoming of a high-class reader such as yourself, in this case the Sportsnaut etiquette-assurance crew will give you a break. The NFL has made it clear that Lynch’s obscene gestures—seen frequently after he beats opposing defenses like red-headed step-children— will not be tolerated. Thus, it would be a mild surprise if Lynch chose to breakout his signature pose in the Super Bowl this year. While stranger things have happened in sports, expect Lynch to go back to his signature handshake celebration in front of a world-audience.
5. Groundhog Day Parlay- Patriots Win and Groundhog Sees Shadow (5/2). Patriots Win and Punxsutawney Phil Does Not See his Shadow (11/5). Seahawks Win and Groundhog Sees Shadow (11/4). Punxsutawney Phil Does Not See his Shadow and Seahawks Win (12/5).
How could Super Bowl prop bets be more fun and simultaneously arbitrary? Bing! Parlay your Super Bowl odds with the legendary hero of the cult-classic film Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Phil! Billy Murray did it, why not you? There is no better way to live the month after the Super Bowl like it was the same day over and over again while waiting on a semi-fictional creature to see it’s shadow! May the Belchick-hoodie colors prop be damned, I’ll take the Seahawks and no shadow for all the marbles! Extend the NFL season with the wackiest parlay idea in the history of organized betting.
Photo: Getty Images