These Guys Are The Reason You Couldn’t Make It In MLB

To be an athlete, you have to be of a certain “freak of nature” status. I of course don’t mean this in a bad way at all. These baseball players can (and could) give you a reason to be scared in the batters box, or out in the field. So don’t quit your day job…

Yadier Molina, St. Louis Cardinals; Catcher

You know how you’re not supposed to watch a scary movie in the dark, alone, right before bed? Well the reason is equivalent to a pitcher having to face Yadier Molina. The 31 year old is feared as much at the plate as he is behind it. Just last season, according to baseball-reference.com, Molina hit a .319 with 161 hits, and 80 RBI’s. He was also a huge factor in how the team made it to postseason play.

And if it wasn’t for the collision at the plate rule, let’s say the injury list would be even longer. If that’s even possible. Basically, if your phone is ever low on battery, have Molina hold it for you, his power will charge that thing right up.

Craig Kimbrel, Atlanta Braves; Relief Pitcher

I realize the 25 year old has had a couple shaky outings this season, but it’s still early. Let’s not forget about last season. I know the rule of thumb is “never live in the past,” however, an even better rule, in this case, is the fact that history repeats itself. In his career, Kimbrel has accumulated a 1.39 ERA, according to rotoworld.com. In 227.1 innings pitched, he has 381 strikeouts, and a 0.91 WHIP. Don’t sleep on Kimbrel. And if you do, sleep with one eye open.

Mike Trout, Anaheim Angels; Centerfielder

It’s pretty obvious why this guy is on the list. The 22-year-old phenom has had some jokes in the past of him having that huge neck of his. It only makes sense really. He needs the extra muscle to carry the Halos. Trout, for those of you who don’t know, has only been in the Bigs for a few seasons, but has made a huge impact on the MLB.

Trout not only received the 2012 AL Rookie of the Year award, but was second in MVP voting to Miguel Cabrera in that same year as well as 2013. Not exactly someone you should be upset to be runner-up to. According to baseball-reference.com, Trout, in a 162 game average accumulates a .313 batting average, with 30 home runs, 95 RBI’s, and 40 stolen bases. Again, not someone a pitcher should be stoked to face.

 Randy Johnson, (a LOT of teams); Pitcher

Love you Kruk, but it’s pretty obvious The Big Unit is someone scary to face on the bump. Standing at a massive 6’10”, Randy Johnson not only throws filthy heat, but with that height, he might as well be on a little league field throwing his hardest at you.

Johnson’s final game was October 4, 2009, according to baseball-reference.com, and now he spends his time in photography. In his 22-year career, the lefty averaged a 3.29 ERA, in 618 games. In those games the now 50 year old received 4,875 strikeouts. He also killed a bird. The bird didn’t stand a chance.

Ken Griffey Jr. Seattle Mariners, Cincinnati Reds, etc; Centerfielder

Before Mike Trout, there was Ken Griffey Jr. The reason why he is someone that would make you want to stay away from competing in the MLB, well there are several:

• Winners of the following awards: 1992 AS MVP, 1997 Major League Player of the Year, 1997 AL MVP, 2005 NL Comeback Player of the Year (baseball-reference.com)
• 13-time All-Star.
• Seven-time Silver Slugger Awards winner.
• 10-time Gold Glove Award winner.
• Inducted into the Mariner’s Hall of Fame.
• Couple seasons had the highest intentional walks (23 in 1997 and 17 in 1999).

Even though he struggles to give Linda Cohn a good interview, you know he wasn’t someone you looked forward to having to compete against.

John Rocker, Atlanta Braves; Pitcher

This guy scares me simply because of this statement he made to Sports Illustrated in January of 2000 when he was asked if he would consider playing for the Yankees or Mets:

Imagine having to take the 7-train to (Shea Stadium) looking like you’re riding through Beirut, next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.”

Um okay dude. Whatever you say.

Barry Bonds, Pittsburgh Pirates/San Francisco Giants; Leftfielder

Keep the “PED” talk to a minimum. We are going to talk baseball. Barry Bonds is one of the most feared hitters of all time. Like, Johnson, Bonds had a 22-year career in MLB. However, Bonds’ career was quite different. According to baseball-reference.com, over his career he concluded (over a 162 game average) with a .298 batting average, 762 home runs, 2,558 walks, and 2,935 hits. Let’s not forget he has had a .370 batting average in 2002, and a .362 batting average in 2004, at 39 years old.

 

Photo: Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports